


I Now Pronounce You

by KaRaEa



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Domestic Fluff, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Just scraping the reunion theme for the collection, Kid Fic, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, References to implied child abuse and neglect, canon level swearing, no hunting au, still counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29583321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaRaEa/pseuds/KaRaEa
Summary: When Cas' custody of his niece and nephew are challenged, Dean agrees to marry him to help him seem like a more stable home situation for the kids. Dean would do a lot more than that for his best friend, and it's not like hanging out with Cas and the kids is a chore.Anyway, a half-assed wedding and a party seem like a pretty good time after all the funerals of late.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 134
Collections: Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Reunion





	I Now Pronounce You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosawyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosawyn/gifts).



> Very loosely inspired by the terrible movie 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry', which equals SPN canon with its ability to express support for the LGBT community in the most homophobic ways possible.

The funeral is overcast and as miserable as a funeral should be. Cas wears the same suit he wore to bury Jimmy, and Claire spends the whole day without saying a single word to anyone. Dean doesn't blame her. He's had his fair share of tragedy in his family, but losing both parents so close together...

Then again, from a personal perspective that may have been better. Maybe if John hadn't outlived Mary by so many years, Dean wouldn't have been stuck watching him turn into the bitter, angry and borderline abusive man he became. Maybe Dean and Sam could have grown up with someone more like Bobby, who would have wrapped his arm around Dean the way Cas keeps doing to Claire, instead of handing him a shotgun and disappearing on cases for weeks at a time.

The wake is less maudlin. Claire and Amelia planned it together, and it's hard to stay quiet and serious with a background of cheesy pop ballads and a buffet of foods more at home at a kid's birthday party. 

"Cas is holding up pretty well," Sam says. They both watch as Cas bounces Jack on his knee and nods along earnestly to whatever Kelly is saying.

Dean shrugs. "He's got to. Can't break down when you've got two kids to look after, I guess."

Sam makes a vague noise of disagreement. Sam was barely six months old when Mom died, and even he remembers how badly Dad broke down. So badly Sam's formative memories of the guy were probably of him crying and drinking and yelling. "Still, can't be easy."

"No."

Sam turns back to look at him. "You holding up okay?"

"Yeah," Dean says, surprised. "I'm good. I mean, it sucks. The whole thing sucks. But I didn't really know her that well, you know?"

It's a weird thought. He's been so deep in it for so long that he hadn't stopped to think about his own relationship with Amelia. He'd met her, of course, plenty of times, but they'd never really talked until she got sick. Even then it was all practical stuff, her treating him as part and parcel with Cas and him acting accordingly. When he thinks about who she was, all he can think about is how a part of her seemed almost glad to go. Like she was looking forward to seeing Jimmy again. It's unfair, and he thinks she must've fought it, must have tried to stay with her kids, but he saw that same kind of look in John's eye growing up and since he made that connection the comparisons just come whether he wants them to or not. Amelia may have not gone looking for her death the way John did, disappearing on dangerous, semi-legal cases for weeks at a time until one day he just didn't come back, but both of them were one foot in the grave the moment their spouse kicked the bucket.

Must be a pretty awful thing, to love someone that much.

***

Going back to work the following monday without Cas feels wrong. It felt wrong after Jimmy, and it felt wrong when Amelia got sick, and it feels wrong now. The other guys are great, and he'd trust any one of them with his life three times over, but they're not Cas.

Dean's practically moved into Jimmy and Amelia's house by now, the same way Cas did over a year ago to look after Amelia and the kids. He does laundry and dishes and cooks food nobody's in the mood to eat, and crashes on the sofa to stay nearby. And it's fine, it's not a problem. Cas is his best friend, and he's done way more for Dean over the years than a little light housework. But it does make Cas' absence at work all the more palpable.

Jo mocks him mercilessly over his codependence issues as usual, and things start to feel a little more normal as they get further into the day. They're well into February, now and things are quiet. Too cold and wet for BBQs, too late for New Year's and too early for 4th of July. A couple of minor call outs, a small care fire, and the rest of the week is smooth sailing, sitting around waiting to be needed. 

By the weekend Jo's convinced him to come drinking. They rarely get a weekend where neither one of them is on the clock or on call, and Dean hasn't been out with the any of guys in at least a month. Hasn't really been anywhere except hospitals and funeral planners.

"You need to get out of that house," she tells him, a firm arm around his shoulders guiding him down the street.

He's down half a beer and three shots of whisky and spilling his woes, such as they are, onto the bartop before he even realises that was Jo's whole motivation for dragging him out.

"God, I was wrong," Jo says after his impassioned rant about how much laundry Jack manages to get through each day. "You don't just need out of the house, you need to get laid. And if Cas won't do the job..."

"Hardy har," Dean says snidely. "I'm a little busy to go chasing tail."

Jo shrugs. "Cas didn't ask you to do any of this. You offered. And that's great, you're an angel, whatever. But he's a big boy, he can take care of himself for five minutes while you blow off some steam."

Dean looks at her earnest and slightly hazed eyes. "Jesus Christ! What is this? An intervention? I'm fine! Cas is family, I'm just lookin' out for him."

"And I'm looking out for you," Jo says, just a touch of slurring around the edges as the orders the next round with nothing more than a raised hand at the bartender. "I love Cas. He's great, and we all wanna look out for him. But I love you, too. I'm just saying, you take on a lot of other people's shit, and that's admirable or whatever, but sooner or later you're gonna burn yourself out."

Dean shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He knows that. He knows the Firehouse is a family, they all look out for each other, and he knows they love him. He also knows he's not the only one who cares about Cas or has been helping out. Benny's been baking none-stop since Cas took off work when things got bad with Amelia, not that Cas seems to appreciate it. But him and Cas, it's... different. Cas and Sammy are more important to Dean than anything else in the damn world, and he'd sooner fight his next fire with gasoline than turn away when one of them needs him. 

"Don't look like that, I'm not tryin' to get all mushy on ya," Jo grumbles. "I just want you to have fun and all the good stuff, and not just iron Cas' shirts all day."

Dean laughs, and if it sounds a little off then he'll blame it on the booze. "Fine, whatever. I'm here aren't I? I'm not chained to an ironing board or some shit."

Jo nods in satisfaction. "Right. Next bar. We're doing a trawl."

His instant thought being that he has to pick Claire up from a sleepover tomorrow morning is probably not a good argument in his favour. 

***

Dean's head is still pounding at 10am the next morning as chugs black coffee and tries to make himself drink just as much water to stop the coffee from making the dehydration worse. Cas, god love him, made breakfast and told Dean he'd pick Claire up instead, and if this is the kind of treatment he can look forward to then he might seriously consider moving in on a more permanent basis. Even Jack has the decency to sit quietly in his bouncer while Dean's aspirin kicks in.

"Castiel!" An exasperated voice follows as the front door opens.

"Naomi-"

"You are overreacting," Naomi scolds, cutting Cas off. "We all want what's best for the children."

"Don't I get a say in what that is?" Claire snaps, storming into the kitchen and brushing past Dean as if he's furniture to stand in front of Jack, as if blocking him off from her aunt.

"I don't see how removing them from their home and the people they're used to is what is best for them," Castiel says, just as much bitchy fury in his tone as Claire had. "We're doing fine, we don't need your interference!"

Naomi sighs, put upon, and strides primly into the kitchen behind Cas. She eyes the detritus of Dean's hangover with distaste. "This isn't a stable environment. They should be in a real family."

"We are a real family!" Claire yells, startling the baby who stops his wobbly bouncing and looks up with wide blue eyes to watch. Luckily he's used to Claire's teen angst and her outburst doesn't seem to scare him.

"Claire, you deserve a complete family unit," Naomi says firmly. "A stable financial situation. Guardians in careers that don't put their lives at risk."

Claire and Cas level her with matching glares, and Dean wonders if it would count against him if he escaped this situation now.

"I fail to see how-" Cas starts.

"They are my niece and nephew, too," Naomi interrupts. "I have a right to express concern. And why should they stay with you? What can you offer them?"

"What I've been offerring for the last two years!" Cas replies. "I have been here, I have taken care of them, I have kept them safe and loved them. Where were you?"

"You were here because you had nowhere else to be," Naomi says, finally raising her voice to the same level as the others, and Jack finally starts to realise something is wrong beyond the normal yelling of his sister.

Dean clenches his hand around his mug. How dare she? Cas has worn himself through taking care of Jimmy and his family while this bitch only turned up to the funerals. He glances at Jack's fast-flushing face and makes a concerted effort to keep his voice level. "Okay, I think maybe we should all just take a breath here."

"Stay out of it!" Naomi snaps.

"Do _not_ talk to Dean that way," Cas almost bellows. Dean's not sure he's ever seen him quite this angry, and he's seen Cas really freakin' angry.

Naomi stands up improbably straighter. "You have no more claim to custody than we do, and we can provide a stable family unit with two incomes and two parents. We live in an excellent school district and have strong ties to the community. You, on the other hand, might orphan these kids a third time in your low income, public sector job, and have no resources or support to raise them. Any judge in the country will pick a happily married couple over a mentally and financially unstable bachelor."

That does it. Dean stands. "Lady-"

"He has Dean," Claire says abruptly. She raises her chin under the sudden attention of all three extremely tense adults. "Dean has a job, Dean helps look after us."

" _Dean_ ," Naomi says the way Ellen might say 'moist' or Sam might say 'processed food', "is not a part of this. Sofa surfing colleagues aren't part of custody agreements. If anything, a judge might find it a little concerning that your uncle's single male friend is living here with a teenage girl."

" _Excuse me,_ " Dean says dangerously. He's met Naomi a grand total of three times before now, and each was unpleasant enough to make him dislike her. But this is seriously testing his ethics regarding hitting women. If this was his house she'd have been bodily ejected from the front door by now.

Claire and Cas exchange a hurried glance that Dean can't begin to interpret, before Cas meets his gaze, desperate and pleading. "Actually, Dean will feature into the custody arrangement. He's not just a friend. He's my fiance."

Dean can't hear Naomi's response to that over the blood rushing in his ears.

"We postponed the wedding when Amelia got sick," Cas replies to whatever Naomi said to him. "But if it's truly that important to you that Claire and Jack be a part of a two parent household, then we'll be happy to hold the ceremony as soon as possible."

"You have to be joking," Naomi says, horrified.

Claire nudges Dean and he clears his throat, hoping his voice will come out at least in the neighbourhood of normal. "Yeah, no. We can-we can do that. Nothin' fancy, just a little... w-wedding. Say our 'I dos'. A party after."

Cas nods like it's settled.

Naomi's lips thin. "If you insist on this foolish charade, I'll see you in court. I'll look forward to the wedding invitation."

She turns and leaves, at last, and Dean drops back down into his seat. Claire pats him on the shoulder and turns to take Jack from his bouncer. He's surprisingly not cried through this whole thing, but it's pretty close. Dean feels bad for the kid. Poor little guy doesn't even know what all the yelling was about.

Cas remains staring through to the front door until they hear Naomi's car start, then he slumps and turns to Dean. "I apologise. But this buys us some time, at least, while Naomi rethinks how to present her case. I... I'll figure something out."

Dean nods, still a little hungover and a lot stunned. He really should have ignored Jo's taunting about being Cas's wife and gone home when the room started spinning. The thought occurs to him that Cas's wife is exactly what he just signed up to be. He laughs a little hysterically. "Damn, Cas. That was the least romantic proposal I ever heard."

Cas sighs.

"No, seriously. I don't even get flowers? You don't go down on one knee?" Dean jibes, grounding himself in the humour of it. 

"Dad rented a rowing boat," Claire joins in. 

Dean gestures towards her. "See? Jimmy knew how to be romantic. I'm so marrying the wrong brother."

"Actually, he didn't know how to row and Mom ended up pulling a muscle getting them back to shore after they cast off," Claire tells him. "He had terrible coordination."

Cas's angry, guilty expression fades with the reminiscence, and his soft smile finally eases the tension in the room. "I'll call a lawyer and arrange an appointment. The sooner we know what we're dealing with, the better."

"Didn't Amelia say she wanted you to have custody?" Dean asks. "No way a judge'll go against that, right?"

Cas nods his head to the side, a semi-agreement. "Verbally. Kelly was there so she can verify it, but I'm not sure how much weight it'll hold. We didn't think there'd be any issues so we didn't think we needed to worry about it, and before Jimmy... They thought they had time to figure it out. If they ever had to at all."

Dean grimaces. "I'll call Sam, he-"

"Is a criminal justice lawyer, not a family lawyer," Cas points out. "So is Eileen. No, I'll have to find someone with the appropriate experience. Thank you, though."

Lawyers are expensive. Dean knows Cas has blown through his and the Novak's savings on medical bills and funeral arrangements, there's no way he can hire someone good enough to go up against his rich bitch sister. Cas has to know that, too.

Claire, on the other hand, seems satisfied with the plan. "She can't just take us away because she's our aunt. We barely know her, or her creepy husband."

Creepy is right. Dean knows the kind of people Crowley works with and for, a lot of them seem to end up in Sam's case files at the District Attorny's office, and all he can say is he and Naomi deserve each other. Sam's tried and failed for years to get anything on the guy. He even mentioned once that he thinks Crowley's firm might have had something to do with the drug cartel that had Mom and her folks killed.

"No one's taking you anywhere," Cas assures her, and Dean hopes to god he's right.

***

Dean's making burgers when Cas comes back from the lawyer's office. One look at Cas and his heart sinks to his boots.

"She's right," Cas tells him, after making sure Claire's upstairs and Jack's occupied with his teethers. "I don't have anything in writing from Amelia, and my situation is less than ideal."

"What?" Dean scoffs. "You've looked after these kids pretty much since Jack was born. You have a job, the house is in Claire's name anyway, you're healthy..."

"I'm also single, low income, in a high risk career, have no savings to speak of and no family support," Cas responds. His voice is tight with anger and helplessness. "Naomi and Crowley will be seen as a more stable environment, and I have no more claim to them as their uncle than she has as their aunt."

Dean doesn't know how to respond to that, doesn't know what to say to make any of this okay. Eventually he lands on a firm, "we'll fix this. We're not gonna let her take them."

Cas' eyes lock onto his in the intense way they have since the first day they met, like he's seeing every part of Dean and weighing him up. It used to make him uncomfortable, but now... Well, Cas doesn't quite look at anyone else that way, so Dean guesses it makes him feel kinda special to warrant the attention. To be interesting enough for Cas to single him out for that kind of focus.

Jack drops his teether off his high chair tray and starts fussing, breaking the stare off. Dean reaches down to grab it, dropping it onto the counter to sterilise later then turning his attention to getting Jack interested in a different toy. Honestly, he's an easy baby. Dean still remembers times when he and a baby Sam were between babysitters and his brat brother would fuss non-stop for hours for seemingly no reason while Dean tried to entertain him.

"You do so much for us," Cas says, subdued and heavy.

Dean frowns. "It's not a problem, Cas. You know that. You'd do the same for me. Hell, the stuff you've done for me over the years, I'm barely holding my own in this whole thing."

"I hate to ask you for more."

Dean abandons his attempts to convince Jack that the fake car keys are just as attractive as the multi-coloured ring he lost to the germy kitchen floor. "What are you talking about?"

Cas hesitates.

"Cas?"

"I don't have any flowers," Cas says with a poor attempt at a light hearted smile. 

It's nonsense and yet some part of Dean thinks he knows where this is going, because even if his brain hasn't quite connected the dots yet, his heart is going haywire in his chest as Cas gathers himself to say more.

"I know this isn't ideal, and I wouldn't ask it of you if I could see another way," Cas begins. "But I... It wouldn't have to be real. Well, technically it'd have to be real, legal. But it would just be on paper, and I wouldn't stop you from... You could still see people and- and date, and keep your apartment if you want to. I can take care of this place myself, and the kids, and I-"

"Cas," Dean says, stalling the ramble. The dots are starting to connect but he needs Cas to get to the point and be normal about this or he'll never be able to be normal about it himself.

"Marry me," Cas blurts suddenly. 

Dean takes a second to let his brain catch up. He doesn't need any extra time to reach a decision, though. "Okay."

"Okay?"

Dean nods. "Okay. We'll apply for a license tomorrow, find a priest or whatever, set a date. And like we bullshitted to Naomi, it's not like we need to plan this huge princess wedding or whatever."

Cas seems unsure, as if he's waiting for Dean to laugh or yell or something. 

"It's fine, Cas," Dean says, and it is. Sure it is. Cas is his best friend, he's family, and like hell is he letting Cas lose Claire and Jack when he can do something about it. "Really."

"Okay," Cas says eventually.

Dean nods again. "So how do you want your burger?"

***

Dean looks over the marriage license he picked up an hour ago as he waits for Sam to show. He's still not sure how much good being married to him will do Cas. Yes, he'll have a 'two parent' situation for the kids and an extra income, at least on paper, but being gay married to a guy with a GED and a give 'em hell attitude might not be a particularly effective challenge to psychiactric doctor straight married to a contract lawyer. 

Still, it's not like there's a lot of other options this short notice. Kelly would strengthen the case a lot better, being Jimmy and Amelia's surrogate for Jack gives her another claim to custody, and she's decently well off with a big house and a promising political career. Somehow Dean doubts she'd be down for a fake marriage on a tight schedule, though. Good christian values and worries of future political scandal to consider and all.

Meg... ugh. No. 

Dean's the only real choice Cas has, and if Cas needs a spouse to be an all around symbol of family stability, then Dean'll suck it up and say 'I do' with a smile on his face. Hell, Dean could do a lot worse in the spousal arena.

"Sorry," Sam says as he enters, "big drug dealing case, lots of tentacles. Kept getting caught in briefings. So what was it you want to talk about?" Sam folds his massive frame into the chair opposite Dean instead of behind his own desk. If Dean didn't know better, he'd say his brother looked nervous about something. Probably fair given the rarity of Dean asking to 'talk' about anything. 

It's easier to hand Sam the license than to say the words. Dean clears his throat while Sam's eybrows creep up at the words on the page. "We, uh, we need to hold the ceremony as soon as possible, and it needs to look real."

Sam's eyes snap up from the license. "Real? What the hell's going on, Dean?"

"Naomi's trying to take the kids," Dean tells him. He's not going to beat around the bush with this. "Cas' lawyer doesn't think he stands much chance as a single guy, and, well, I'm available."

"What?" Sam says.

"We're getting married on Saturday," Dean says. There isn't much else to say.

"Dean, that's in three days!" 

Dean rolls his eyes. "Yes, Sam. I can count. You gonna be there or not?"

"I..."

Dean lets him absorb it all for a moment. Sam's big girly feelings have probably taken offense to the idea of a sham wedding.

A deep breath and Sam centres himself. "Are you sure about this? It's kind of a big deal, Dean."

As if Dean would be sat here with a valid marriage license if he wasn't serious. Between getting the shit together for the application, going down to the courthouse with Cas to fill it out, and then waiting three days before he could pick it up, he's had plenty of opportunity to back out if he was going to. Instead he has an appointment to taste wedding cakes at a local bakery with Claire when they're finished here. They may not be having a big princess wedding, but according to Claire that's no excuse for shoddy catering. Dean thinks she probably just wants to eat five different kinds of cake for lunch.

"Sam, we're doing this. I'm not letting him lose those kids," Dean says as seriously as he can muster. "You're the only blood I got left. I want you there."

Sam's eyes skip away guiltily, and Dean isn't sure what the guilt is over, but he'll take the end result. "I'll be there. What time?"

Dean shrugs. "Ten. Call it ten. Cas is working it out with the officiant dude right now." 

"Right," Sam agrees easily. "Anything you want me to bring?"

"Your wife would be a good start," Dean quips. "Need to make it look like the real deal."

Sam pulls a face Dean's sure is supposed to be amusement. "Sure." He fidgets with his pen for a moment before inhaling to say something else. "Would you be doing this if there was another way to win the case?" Sam asks.

Great. Time for Sam's speech about the sanctity of marriage or something. Dean sighs. "Why? You got another one?"

"No. Nah. Just... You don't even like guys. You were always kinda..." He stalls. "I mean, if Dad was here..."

"If Dad was here, he'd be stinking up the room with his half a decade old corpse," Dean says. "I'm not really sure what he has to do with any of this."

Sam doesn't laugh or even grimace. "What if he isn't dead? We never found out what happened to him. What if he's still out there?"

Dean considers the question. Mulls over what he'd do if Dad was still around, or if he found out he was still alive somewhere. "Wouldn't make a difference. I'm getting married, Sammy. He wasn't here for any of the rest of it, so I don't need him there for that. He didn't need my approval to go chasing after a ghost, I don't need his approval for this."

Sam just looks at him sadly.

***

"I like the chocolate," Claire says, eyeing the plates in deliberation.

"Of course you like the chocolate, it's chocolate," Dean replies, mouth full of raspberry sponge. The bakery is nothing fancy, they can't afford a proper wedding place, but they have a basic range and they're willing to make it big and fancy enough to count. 

Claire takes another bite of the red velvet. "Maybe we should get two."

"I hope you realise this is all coming out of your college fund," Dean tells her. It's actually going on the credit card Dean got for emergency use and hasn't yet used in the three years since he's had it, but it's still fun to see her roll her eyes and act like he's the most annoying man in existence. Makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Which one do you like?" Claire asks after another two minutes of face stuffing.

Dean shrugs. They're all pretty good but to be honest he's always been more of a pie man. "What do you think Cas would like?"

Claire wrinkles her nose and eyes the plates. "That hipster honey and rose one drizzle one."

That cake is appallingly sweet and one of the most overpriced of the bunch, but Dean steels himself in resignation. "We'll get that one then."

"You're so whipped," Claire says on a grin. 

"We're not even-!" Dean looks around and lowers his voice. "We're not even really getting married."

Claire tilts her head and stabs into the chocolate cake again. "Not what the legal documents say."

"When this is all over I'm taking Cas for your whole inheritance," Dean says, and pulls the chocolate back towards himself. He doesn't even like it that much, he's just making a point.

Claire narrows her eyes and switches to the red velvet again. "So will you be like my uncle or my step-dad?"

"He's not freaking adopting you, so just uncle," Dean says.

"Maybe he should. It'd make things stick easier," Claire points out. Her voice is light, but she doesn't meet his eyes.

Dean puts down his fork and watches her for a moment. She's been angry at Naomi and sad at the funeral and amused at the fake wedding, but she's always seemed pretty damn sure she's staying with Cas. Until now, Dean hadn't really thought about what it must be like for her in that sense. Sure, she's got to be worried about living with Naomi and Crowley, leaving her home and everything, but Cas is the third guardian in a short time she could potentially lose. It must feel a little like getting orphaned all over again before she's even had time to process losing her folks.

"I'm glad it's you, you know," Claire says. She flicks a glance up at him when he doesn't answer. "My new step-uncle-dad person. You're super lame, but I kinda like having you around."

Dean huffs a laugh and reaches over to ruffle her hair, though it's really a lot more like stroking it. "Me too, kiddo."

"We'll get the stupid honey cake," Claire says. 

***

"Yeah, one honey rose drizzle, one double chocolate," Dean says to the guy on the end of the phone. 

Cas scratches his head with a pencil and marks off the cake on their list. "We'll have to lower the flower budget."

Dean frowns. "We have a flower budget?"

"We _had_ a flower budget," Cas corrects. "Weddings have flowers."

"Yeah, but it's not like either of us is gonna be tossing a bouquet," Dean points out. The baker reads off his total and Dean turns his attention to reading off his card number. When he hangs up Cas is still frowning down at the list. "What?"

Cas blinks as if he'd zoned out. He probably had. "The only suit I have is..."

The one he wore to the funerals. Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. "Maybe we can..." Dean drags the budget list over. Damn. He'd thought such a small, half-assed wedding would be cheaper. There really isn't money for another suit in there. "Okay, so we ditch the suits. Smart casual, or casual casual. Hell, tikki themed even. Whatever."

Cas gazes at him fondly and for a second Dean wonders what it'd be like if they were planning this thing for real. Getting married, moving in together, raising Claire and Jack together. It wouldn't be so bad, he thinks. Cas would make an amazing husband.

"If we really gotta have flowers, I'll ask around. Maybe someone with a greenhouse will be willing to donate to the cause," Dean says to break the moment and give him an excuse to drag his eyes away from Cas' soft smile and back to the budget sheet. "What else we got on the list?"

Cas runs his pencil down the paper until he reaches an uncrossed item. "We've ordered the cake, Ellen's offered to provide the venue and drinks for free, Kelly's got a magician she used at a fundraiser to entertain the children and the drunker adults, the officiant is paid for..."

"Okay, so food. What are we thinking?" Dean asks. "Buffet? Might be easier and cheaper than a sitdown."

Cas nods. "We can do most of that ourselves."

"We're not doing fancy clothes, we're gonna try to bum the flowers, Benny's on brunch, Charlie's on photography and invitations, we already paid for the license..."

They scan through the list together in silence, each unable to wrap their heads around the idea that they might actually be done for now.

"I'll take Claire to the store tomorrow for buffet food if you write out a list," Cas says when they've well and truly determined that they've done all they can tonight.

"Great," Dean says. He's getting married. It's all arranged and planned and the man in front of him is really gonna swear to love and cherish him for the rest of his life. Even is it fake.

Cas flicks a bittersweet smile his way, like maybe he's thinking about how his wedding should have been, if he'd had a choice over the when and who.

Dean only hopes he doesn't disappoint too much.

***

There isn't really time or resources available for bachelor parties, but Ellen insists they come down on the Friday night for a few drinks and well wishes, and Kelly happily takes Jack for the night seeing as the plan was for her to take him while they set up in the morning anyway. Dean really wishes they'd been warned about Ash's quazi-strip routine so they'd thought to palm Claire off on someone, too, rather than be half deafened by her well and truly justified shriek of horror when Ash got up on the pool table to the opening strains of 'I'm Too Sexy'.

As it is Claire is gleefully enjoying her night with the grown ups and trading conspirital grins with Jo, who Dean knows told Claire the coke she gave her had booze in it. It's underhanded, but Dean would rather let that little lie go than have Claire know she's the only one not drinking alcohol and have her get hammered on stealing gulps of other people's drinks. He does remember being her age, and he knows that's what he'd have done. If anything, it's a little shocking to him that Claire can't tell that the only thing Jo spiked her drink with was selzter and lime. He was more than familiar enough to make that distinction by her age.

Then again, he didn't have Jimmy and Amelia as parents.

If Dean had ever bothered to imagine the night before his wedding, this would be the furthest thing from what he'd have fantasised. Sat in the same bar he's spent countless nights in with his spouse-to-be sat two stools down with Charlie listening to Sammy's drunken, soppy stories about Dean when they were kids, his soon-to-be kind of step-kid two feet away, Dean himself barely tipsy out of paranoia that Claire will get drunk or hurt or something and not only be drunk or hurt but also prove he and Cas as unfit parents. 

He'd have imagined strippers. Ones much hotter than Ash, a lot better at dancing, and with a way better soundtrack. Probably a full on club crawl, going from bar to night club to strip club, or a casino, or maybe a trip to some seedy place specifically designed to let comitmentphobic men get all the sleeziness out of their system. He'd have imagined getting so drunk Sam has to carry him back to his home, or maybe hotel room, fending off the heavily slurred confessions of cold feet that would be Dean's last thoughts before passing out. 

There's a moment where he mourns for the could-have-beens, not for the strippers or the other decorations on the fantasy, but for the bachelor party another Dean might have had, where he gets to wake up in the morning and marry someone who loves him the way he always thought married couples should. 

The way he's always known deep down that he'd never have.

Claire throws herself down on the stool next to him, shoulder jarring him out of his maudlin thoughts. She's grinning ear to ear, loose and easy from placebo alcohol, and panting from her dance battle with Jo, who's currently lying collapsed on the floor and yelling about being hot and thirsty.

"Havin' fun?" Dean asks, only a little teasingly.

Claire grins at him, mouth stretching impossibly wider. "It's okay. My bachorlette party will have actual strippers though."

Dean raises his eyebrows. "The hell do you know about 'actual' strippers?"

She rolls her eyes and slumps into him in a way she'd never allow herself if she knew she was sober. "It's fine. You and Cas are too old and gross for strippers anyway."

"That's it, you're grounded until you're sixty," Dean replies easily, shifting to support her weight. "Good luck finding someone to marry your wrinkly ass then."

There's a chuckle and Dean looks up to find that Cas and Sam have snuck up on them. Sam looks amused, but the worried look from before hasn't disappated. 

"Run out of embarrassing kid stories already?" Dean asks.

Sam shakes his head. "Never." He looks at Dean far too seriously for a drunk man surrounded by the strains of the Ghostbusters theme song. "Hey, um, when you get a minute after... everything. There's something I need to talk to you about."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Sure. We'll talk. Now will you lighten the hell up? I'm getting married tomorrow, not buried."

Claire jumps up and grabs at Sam's arm. "C'mon, Jo said she won't dance with me anymore. It's your turn."

"What about Charlie?" Sam tries.

Claire grins. "She's why Jo won't dance with me anymore."

Dean looks reflexively around to find Charlie, and quickly looks away. "Jesus, do they have to do that here?"

"Charlie said it's traditional to try to bang a bridesmaid at a wedding," Claire says easily, as she drags Sam bodily onto the dancefloor. Dean's really going to have to rethink Charlie's influence on the kids.

Or he would. If they were actually his kids to worry about.

Like he can hear the maudlin thoughts, Cas grabs Dean's wrist and pulls him upright. "We should dance, too, before Claire forces us into it."

Dean laughs and goes willingly. Cas is a terrible dancer, but his drunken grins, and the sight of Sam trying to force his gangly limbs to follow Claire's instructions have Dean forgetting he'd even imagined this night in his life being any other way.

***

Dean wakes up nearly a full two hours before his alarm. He didn't drink enough for a drunken slumber, and once he's awake that's it. There's no chance he's getting back to sleep, not today.

Instead of making the most of the quiet time, he drags himself out of bed, or off couch as the case may be, and starts putting his shit away. They're having the ceremony in the house, along with brunch before heading off to the Roadhouse for the party. Reception. Whatever. There's no chance he's leaving anything potentially incriminating around where Naomi and Crowley could sniff it out. 

That thought in mind, he sets about cleaning the kitchen and lounge top to bottom and checking all the babyproofing is intact and in place. He's halfway through pulling the couch out to hoover under it when Cas makes his rumpled appearance. 

"What are you doing?"

Dean freezes and tries not to make it too conspicuous. "Nothin'. Cleaning."

"Right," Cas says, then stares at him in annoyed and confused silence. "Why?"

Dean shrugs. 

Cas rubs at his forehead and turns towards the kitchen. "I need coffee."

It's with a little guilt and a far bit of embarrasment that Dean packs away the hoover and tries to drag the couch back into place as quietly as possible.

Four hours later and he's pulling at the cuffs of his shirt as everyone takes their seats, or in the less fortunate cases, their places along the back wall. It still feels so surreal.

He spots Naomi smiling menacingly at him from the back row and immediately turns back to Cas. 

Cas who smiles at him reassuringly and not at all like a man about to fake-marry his best friend. He looks so happy that Dean has to take a moment to process it, because no one should look that happy standing across from Dean in front of an officiant, much less someone like Cas.

He barely hears Cas' vows, too busy taking in the neat lines of the shirt Dean ironed for him the day before, the tie Dean helped him straighten as the guests started to arrive. He can faintly smell the laundry powder they've been sharing for the past few months, and he can hear Jack fussing just a little in the background, unused to all those people, and he can see the colour of Claire's dress, the one she wore in spite of his mostly teasing rant about how it's more appropriate for a club than a wedding like some crotchety old dad cliche.

"For better or for worse," Cas says, with that goddamn smile on his face, eyes locked with Dean's unflinchingly.

Dean's stomach drops and his hands start to sweat as it comes closer to his turn, closer to the moment Cas takes his hand and slides a ring onto his finger, closer to the officiant pronouncing them legally wed. He realises, as he automatically repeats the vows as the officiant prompts him, that he means them. Every word. He wants this. 

He wants to spend his life with Cas. He wants to kiss him, to take him to bed on their wedding night, to wake up far too early on a Sunday to feed the baby he wants them to raise together, to be Claire's embarrassing kind-of step-dad and be there when she really does get drunk for the first time, and when she's getting married and planning her debauchery filled hen night. He wants to never have to go 'home' and have that mean somewhere Cas isn't.

And there's a dangerous part of him that thinks maybe, just maybe, Cas' suspiciously shiny eyes and gummy smile as Dean promises him those exact things, might mean that Cas might want that too.

He's so close. All he has to do is finish these vows, accept a few congratulations, and then he's married to the guy he's now realised is the freaking love of his life. They can figure out the rest later. "-In sickness and in health, to-"

"Jesus Christ," a voice interrupts. An impossible voice. A voice that can't be here, can't be anywhere except in Dean's head. "You really shat the bed this time, didn't you, Dean."

Dean tries to find reassurance in Cas' eyes that what he's hearing isn't real, but Cas is frowning for the first time since 6am this morning, and turning away from Dean and towards the voice.

"Dad?" Sam says from behind Dean's shoulder, and that, more than anything makes this real. 

Dean still can't quite order the thoughts in his head. There's no words for how bashit freaking insane this is. Maybe this whole surreal day is just him finally having a psychotic break. Maybe the realisation that everything he ever wanted is stood two feet away from him was too much for him to handle. "How- What- You're dead!"

"Do I look dead to you?" Dad asks, arms held out, displaying his very-much alive body.

"Six years," Dean croaks out. "You were gone six years. We thought- We have your freakin' death certificate! We buried an empty box right next to Mom, and-"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam picks up before Dean's even realised he's run out of air. 

John raises his eyebrows at the assembled crowd. "Apparently crashing a wedding."

Dean can't breathe. He can't- this can't be happening. This can't be real.

"It's been a fun show, but I'll be damned if I have to watch my son french another guy," Dad says, a smile on his face like he isn't ruining everything. "Especially for no good reason."

Sam's sharp inhale is the first thing that really breaks through Dean's shock.

"You knew?" Dean asks. He doesn't need to turn around for Sam to know he's talking to him. There's no way Dad could know about Dean's reasons for getting married if Sam didn't tell him.

"I-"

"And you didn't tell me," Dean says. "You didn't tell me for six goddamn years."

"He didn't know," Dad tells him. "Not for most of it, anyway. And he couldn't tell you when I did let on."

The pieces click together. "You were undercover. Sam's drug case. It was the guys who killed Mom."

"I was going to tell you after the wedding, I swear, but you were dealing with so much already," Sam says. "I didn't think it would matter if I waited."

It takes half a second for Dean to decide to forgive Sam. His dad? Not so much.

"Which brings me to my second reason for being here." Dad turns towards the rows of fold out chairs. "Fergus Crowley, you're under arrest on charges of embezzlment, money laundering, conspiracy to distribute-"

"Fergus," Naomi says, unsure and questioning.

"This is an outrage!" Crowley fixes Dean with a glare. "Winchester, if this is some scheme of yours to undermine our case..."

Dean blinks. Right. Their case. The custody case that was the whole reason for this to begin with. That Naomi and Crowley have no hope in hell of winning anyway if Crowley's going to jail on drug charges. They don't have to get married.

"Just a happy coincidence," Dad says snidely. "When we're done here, maybe we can take advantage of the reception bar for a little family reunion. It's been awhile."

"You should have said something before today," Sam snaps. "You could've stopped all this before it went this far! Why didn't you tell me we had something on Crowley?"

Dad pulls cuffs out from the back of his jacket. "Need to know only. Had to be sure of where he'd be, this was a good opportunity."

Sam scoffs. "Right."

Jack starts crying, loud and confused and tired and done with all the noise and strange people. 

Cas breaks into movement, heading towards his nephew. 

"Wait," Dean says quietly, only loud enough that Cas, Claire and the officiant hear him. All three turn towards him, but it's only Cas he's talking to. "Cas..."

Cas waits, expression blank, eyes as tired and devastated as Dean feels. 

If there's even a chance they can salvage this...

"To love and to cherish," Dean says, still quiet in the face of Jack's crying and Crowley's yelling, and Dad's smug voice reciting Miranda rights. "'Til death do we part. This is my solemn vow."

Their eyes lock and Dean holds his breath, waiting for Cas' reaction. To see if he still wants to do this now they don't have to.

Cas' breath hitches and Claire stumbles into action. 

"Sam!" 

Sam stops glaring at Dad to see what she wants. 

"The rings." Claire holds her hand out and takes the ring box from Sam's confused grasp. She opens the box and holds them out on her open palm. "Here."

Cas blinks rapidly. He wipes at his face, dislodging tears before they can fall, and takes Dean's ring from the box. "This ring I give to you as a token of my love and devotion to you. I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as yours. With this ring..."

He trails off as the room goes quiet, guests finally catching on and Jack finally calming with the lack of shouting. 

His shoulders pull back and his chin raises. He reaches for Dean's hand and lifts it between them, sliding the ring into place. "With this ring, I gladly marry you and join my life to yours."

Dean repeats his words and actions, ignoring anything but Cas and the feeling of Cas' hand in his. 

The officiant rallies admirably. "I now pronounce you legally wed and bestow upon you the blessings of us, your friends, your family, and your community. You may kiss."

Cas' hand tightens around his fingers as he sways closer.

"You've got to be kidding," Dad's voice interrupts again. 

Dean takes a breath. Flips the bird in the general direction of their guests. Kisses his husband. 

It's perfect.

***

"This is definitely the one you should print out and hang on the wall," Claire says, pausing her swiping through the wedding album on her phone.

Dean looks over her shoulder as he bounces Jack on his hip. The picture would be sickeningly romantic, Dean and Cas kissing, the bliss of it writ large on both their faces, fingers tangled together between them. 

Except for the hand Dean holds out to the camera, middle finger raised pride of place in the middle of the picture.

Cas glances at it on his way past with the laundry. "There's a good spot on the wall by the stairs."


End file.
